Parallel Universes

And, no, I do not mean the celestial line-up around the Sun!

I mean all those people all around us. Lives lived. Lives lost. Again, lives lost here does not imply death of a person. Just death of a relationship. In whatever form it may have earlier existed.

I recently became consciously aware of these parallel universes. So far the world as I saw it was a 1000-D maze of randomization where people moved randomly at varying speeds. Only now I am drawn to the conclusion that it is really planes - do not confuse them with straight lines. They are fluid and flexible. People on other planes can never get a full view of your plane - they might get glimpses at best. It is really complicated. Or so I think.

There is a mother daughter duo that choose to inhabit the entrance of our building. It's pretty freaky. And so recently they were made to move out, permanently. I still see them hanging around sometimes. That is what got me thinking. While they were there or not, I kinda didn't care much either ways. They didn't imply fear or harm to me in anyway. I could safely choose to ignore them. After all, its Bombay.

I had some of my own dilemmas of heart versus head as I stepped out the other day and happened to have an extra minute of waiting when I noticed them. This time they were just hanging outside a closed shop. The mother was in a wheelchair. It must be really I bad I thought given the fact that they do have a son who returns home everyday. They can be somewhere else and they were still here. Why?

That is when the realization stuck me. They too faced a head versus heart dilemma. The head would obviously have them move in with their son and his family and "adjust". Whatever their reason, the heart wanted to hold on its own a bit longer. Even if it came down to basic existence. The choices they made still didn't make sense. Not to me. That is why they belong in another plane which I only catch glimpses of. I still wonder would you really rate pride over survival in a city of hardened hearts? By the way, the hardened heart is another heart versus head debate which I shall take up later on.

This then led to the next thought. Recently, I have tasted something similar. A prized and extremely close to my heart relationship no longer exists or is on the verge of it. Almost. I am not sure what to make of it.

Frankly, I don't trust easily. Prior to this one exception, I have never believed in the concept of best friends. There are friends and then there are closer friends. Closer friends being people you can trust and in most cases know more about you than more other people or friends. Best friends would be those who you would trust you life with and no, you don't trust your life with everyone. Think about it.

Random strangers can only see the exterior areas of your personal plane. Family and friends would experience your plane at several touch points. However, they may or may not really have a clear understanding of your plane. The family is variable and clearly will have greater interaction and intrusion. Best friends would be almost in the same plane as you with the highest level if intrusion and interaction. Almost. But you will always be in your plane alone.

Best friends are thus intrusive. Gaining access and insights like no one else. When such relationships do not work, they leave you squirming. There has been invasion, a breach. But the plane is now empty. And it is not as simple as thieves entering and exiting. You do not have emotional bonds with thieves. Exactly that brings out a head versus heart angst. Your head logically wants intruders out and less vulnerability. The heart demands love and warmth. Having a best friend in the first place means you allowed the heart to win and accepted the warmth. You opened up to vulnerability. Is it worth?

Now, I have the plane to myself. Will/should I allow the intrusive plane back in again is a raging heart versus head debate to me right now. Maybe I should or maybe I should not. The head and heart are both right in their own spaces.

What would you do?

Battlefield Mind!!

Greetings Blog Reader!

Not much seems to have changed in my life since the last time I was here.

-Barrack Obama is Officially allowed to enter the Oval Office as President. That is the good thing.

-Indian economy is also swaying with the World Economic Crisis; however, if I am allowed to opine, I personally think Indian Economy is more or less in the hands of Dr. Singh. That is the expected thing.

-My life is at a standstill. That is the bad thing.

Now, while I am supposed to be collecting moss right now, I am not exactly convinced that is the best thing to do. I mean, who could I possibly sell moss to!!?

Moving on.

For the last few days my mind is glorious battlefield of dual. I am not sure any of the sides is going to win at all - it's just that the thought itself is so...well, itchy. I keep going back to it...again...and again...and again.

Here it goes.

Most of us, at some point of time or the other - expect. We expect things to happen. We expect it to rain. We expect to pass the exam. We expect the train to come on time. We expect to not get stuck in the traffic. We expect to reach office on time. We expect our friends to spend more time with us. We expect our family to support us. We expect to finish that book this weekend. We expect the good samaritian to appear out of nowhere and help us out. We expect friendship. We expect love. We expect respect. We expect applause. We expect rewards. We expect world peace. We expect...expect...and expect.

The list is endless. From the most trifle everyday things to the big chunks of our lives we expect things to happen. More importantly, some of us even expect feelings from others - family, friends, colleagues, etc. All the same time that we are expecting (pun unintended!), we do know that the given expectation may or may not come true. Still, when the expectation does not come true we feel hurt, cheated. Why?

Let's say, we are expecting the train to be on time. Now, while we are expecting, we are mentally aware the train MAY OR MAY NOT appear on time. If the train does appear on time, we are elated. We go through the I-told-you-so-symptom. However, when the train is late by say x minutes, then we feel somewhat angry, irritated. Also, higher the value of x, higher the irritation & anger. In other words, we can say expectation is probability. In most cases a 50-50% chance something is going to happen. If we know by default then why the irritation when the thing fails our expectation?

I guess it's more to do with human nature than the laws of probability or proportion.

Whenever we "expect" something to happen, we are "wishing" that thing to happen. Technically, by the rules of probability it's still a 50-50% deal.

However, wishing is very different from expecting. Expecting is a hard-hearted word. It does not have the softness that wishing does. Expecting does not tug at the strings of your heart the way wishing does. Think about it.

When you think of the word "wish", what comes to your mind? I can't comment on what picture your mind might have drawn for you, but I can truly tell about mine. Wish, for me, is somewhere in dream land...where the "fairy godmother" will grant whatever i have wished for. Voila! Just because i wished it is true. Wish has a heart rendering softness to it - because, wish comes from the depths of your heart. When you expect, it usually comes from some kind of experience - it has something to do with the mind. But, when you wish, it's usually from the bottom of your heart.

All practical people in this world - expect(in the calculated way, of course!).

Dreamers wish.

Only the truly wise know, understand and appreciate the difference.

And yes, in case you wanted to know - morons like me - wish.

Which kind are you???