Sunday, November 11, 2012

Parallel Universes

And, no, I do not mean the celestial line-up around the Sun!

I mean all those people all around us. Lives lived. Lives lost. Again, lives lost here does not imply death of a person. Just death of a relationship. In whatever form it may have earlier existed.

I recently became consciously aware of these parallel universes. So far the world as I saw it was a 1000-D maze of randomization where people moved randomly at varying speeds. Only now I am drawn to the conclusion that it is really planes - do not confuse them with straight lines. They are fluid and flexible. People on other planes can never get a full view of your plane - they might get glimpses at best. It is really complicated. Or so I think.

There is a mother daughter duo that choose to inhabit the entrance of our building. It's pretty freaky. And so recently they were made to move out, permanently. I still see them hanging around sometimes. That is what got me thinking. While they were there or not, I kinda didn't care much either ways. They didn't imply fear or harm to me in anyway. I could safely choose to ignore them. After all, its Bombay.

I had some of my own dilemmas of heart versus head as I stepped out the other day and happened to have an extra minute of waiting when I noticed them. This time they were just hanging outside a closed shop. The mother was in a wheelchair. It must be really I bad I thought given the fact that they do have a son who returns home everyday. They can be somewhere else and they were still here. Why?

That is when the realization stuck me. They too faced a head versus heart dilemma. The head would obviously have them move in with their son and his family and "adjust". Whatever their reason, the heart wanted to hold on its own a bit longer. Even if it came down to basic existence. The choices they made still didn't make sense. Not to me. That is why they belong in another plane which I only catch glimpses of. I still wonder would you really rate pride over survival in a city of hardened hearts? By the way, the hardened heart is another heart versus head debate which I shall take up later on.

This then led to the next thought. Recently, I have tasted something similar. A prized and extremely close to my heart relationship no longer exists or is on the verge of it. Almost. I am not sure what to make of it.

Frankly, I don't trust easily. Prior to this one exception, I have never believed in the concept of best friends. There are friends and then there are closer friends. Closer friends being people you can trust and in most cases know more about you than more other people or friends. Best friends would be those who you would trust you life with and no, you don't trust your life with everyone. Think about it.

Random strangers can only see the exterior areas of your personal plane. Family and friends would experience your plane at several touch points. However, they may or may not really have a clear understanding of your plane. The family is variable and clearly will have greater interaction and intrusion. Best friends would be almost in the same plane as you with the highest level if intrusion and interaction. Almost. But you will always be in your plane alone.

Best friends are thus intrusive. Gaining access and insights like no one else. When such relationships do not work, they leave you squirming. There has been invasion, a breach. But the plane is now empty. And it is not as simple as thieves entering and exiting. You do not have emotional bonds with thieves. Exactly that brings out a head versus heart angst. Your head logically wants intruders out and less vulnerability. The heart demands love and warmth. Having a best friend in the first place means you allowed the heart to win and accepted the warmth. You opened up to vulnerability. Is it worth?

Now, I have the plane to myself. Will/should I allow the intrusive plane back in again is a raging heart versus head debate to me right now. Maybe I should or maybe I should not. The head and heart are both right in their own spaces.

What would you do?

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Music & some more...

Last 2-3 days have been a lot about good music. I feel a lot more calmer than I have for some time now. Maybe not completely, but its a good start. I might just find my mojo again!

Part of the reason has something to do with enjoying some of the best in the Indian music scenario. I heard Raghu Dixit, Indian Ocean and A R Rahman: As awesome as it gets!

Frankly, I had never heard of Raghu Dixit before Fest-O-Comm this year. And then I did. And I fell in love with some amazing music! The way I didn't imagine it to be. Honestly, I am not very experimental when it comes to music. But then I experienced a new so amazing it never left me. I have been hooked on to The Raghu Dixit Project since that fateful night at SIMC. I am glad or what!?

Needless to say, it has been played over on endless loops since then. Still does. Their on-stage performance is exhilarating. Raghu Dixit is the man! They have so much electricity, you can't help but get affected. The music is soothing and exciting at the same time. The lyrics make sense to me, reach out and touch me somewhere deep down inside. I can be in the worst of moods and it can take me up to high to heavens in no time at all!

On the same note, I realized the value of a performance recently. The setting at SIMC was simply perfect. However, the band recently performed at another another huge gig and let's just say there were a lot of "disturbances" which almost marred their performance. I liked it. Nevertheless. I still love him and his music.

That is what got me thinking and I learnt something new out of it.

I fell in love with Raghu Dixit and his contemporary folk music at a live performance. Realized I am in love over endless listening loops. If it were just a performance thing, I might have been turned off/ away by the performance that didn't exactly "rock my world". But I learnt, when you really truly love something, then a few tiny electronic mishaps were not going to steal that away. The momentum stays.

Similarly in life. There will always be performances or your acts in the larger play of life. You got to do what is right. There is no guarantee it will turn out perfect. Where is the fun in that even? But you definitely got to put your all in it and make it worth. It may work or it may not. You got to stick with what makes you feel the best. If it feels right, it's got to be right. It may not always be perfect, but it will always be right. There might be mishaps along the way, but then life would be so boring otherwise. The true things, the good things will always last out. And when they do, they will have earned the respect they deserve.

Enuff said!