The mystery of relationships!

One of my close relatives began their journey towards the most holiest pilgrimage in Islam, Hajj, last weekend. Its ritualistic for close family and friends to wish you well for the journey and experiences.

People parting, crying, making each other smile, big bear hugs and so on. I am not one for these. And yet, watching everyone else got me thinking. The feelings that bind us together are they even real?

I am not exactly high on relationships - family or friends. People who know me well will vouch for and against the same. While I can be absolutely loving and caring when for those whom I love & care, there are times I refuse to communicate for long periods. If you are really close, I hope it does not bothers you for you understand this is how I am! (Thanks a ton for still loving and accepting me!)

Anyhow, let me bring back my forever meandering thoughts... 

The fabric of our lives always make for interesting stories. They may tatter and tear, modified to meet needs, but they remain true for a long long time to come. Get passed down through generations. This also explains  how we as a society keep changing and yet there are things that never change.

So, while we know we love our friends and family, is it really all the same? We fight. Even the most politically correct woman/man will need to raise voice or action every once in a while. We fight for need, greed, survival, revival, love, hate or even just because. We fight because we are scared and terrified. Scared we will loose something that we believe is precious. But fear only begets fear! Who hasn't felt the pangs of another kind of fear once one is subdued? So we do fight when we are together!

What is it about good byes? Why does it hold the power of forgiveness, breaches the hardest dams of human emotional hold backs, the yearnings of never letting go and bouts of overwhelming love and remorse? Why can't we love unconditionally when we are together? Why is it so important to fight when we are together? Where does that one-up-man-ship disappear when its time to let go?

Or is it just another act? When we know we stand on the threshold of good byes might as well not break hearts and spill over, feel lighter within and sleep peacefully for doing the right thing and not letting might overcome right?

And then again, I would choose not to think so. Separation is always painful. Its almost like letting a part of yourself walk away and free, never knowing if the relationship will see the light of another day. But not always. That is why these questions. Not all relationships are built that strong. So definitely some of those emotions might be real; however, there would those otherwise too!

What is real and what is fake? Maybe the right answer is an adjustment in itself, and rightly so! We are who we choose to be; we are all free beings. It has and will always be a perspective. To each one his own!

Do you agree?

Why is reality TV so unreal?

Let's be honest. I never did like reality TV at all. Never. Ever. Not for a moment. The idea that TV can be real repulses me.

When I was tiny and growing up in the middle of India in the 80's TV had just started making inroads into Indian households who gathered religiously around the TV every Sunday morning to watch Ramayana or Mahabharata or dance and whistle when India scored another century. That was entertainment!

We kids were still just discovering cartoons. I still remember my shock when I had realized one day that it was not really playing for real somewhere, but it was careful programmed and recorded. That is why the word - program. If it is programmed, how can it be real? I don't think I understood then or even now!

Anyways, I continued to miss the bus with television shows. While the country was hooked to KSBKBT and such serials I happily kept to myself rather than get involved in fake show with fake people in even more fake and absurd situations. I have been told Baa lived up to 109 or so and Tulsi was married some 3-4 times and even had kids which she didn't know about or something of the sort - I still wonder how!

Hop-skip-jump and we arrive to in 00's where reality takes over and people still love their TV sets - even more as they are now slimmer, flatter and wider. Improves perspective, no?

So now we go a step further and say we are bringing you live action and reactions and still manage to keep you in emotional upheavals that will keep you coming back for more! Are our audiences and producers so naive that they believe real life is so over melodramatic to be completely over the top? Are are pseudo celebrities so bored that choose to act in "reality" shows? 

With the recent roster of singing/dancing/comedy shows and the love (or is even that fake!?) showered by fans upon it I wonder do we even understand the difference between real and reality anymore. Or thanks to years of mindless TV viewing we now perceive better-than-real-reality as an antidote to our tiny tired lives which may not hold too drama but just too many struggles. Is that really entertainment then? What about all the news channels (barring a few) who try to dish something as serious as news with high levels of melodrama and entertainment/eyeball value? Why do we even need so much entertainment?

That is precisely what got me thinking about the way we humans behave and do what we do. Why do we watch what we do as a nation? Can something as simple as an idiot box (is it even that anymore?) make us so idiotic? It might be true, we are the company we keep. Why is there a need to own 15 minutes of fame when no one can remember half an hour after the show who you even were?

From where I come from a weekly television serial could still bring and keep the family together. Today we may have a TV set in every room, with a show targetted at each and every family member and yet we are so drawn apart that we look for reality elsewhere except within our homes and hearts.

What do you think?

P.S. : Just by the way, what really got me thinking about all this was chancing upon the promos of a particular musical reality shows which happened to feature my-up-to-that-moment-favorite singer. He sadly is no longer my favorite. Doing reality shows is just too wannabe for my taste. I am better off with Raghu Dixits of the world!